The Hairy Happy Clappy Strappy Tappy Toppy

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The Hairy Happy Clappy Strappy Tappy Toppy is a classic example of Hairy Mary feeling the need to cram as many rhymes into a name as possible and thus ostracising her audience who cant be f*cked to type that into google and even if they did it probably wouldn’t come up as Hairy hasn’t ironed out her SEO yet….. LOL.

Anyway, what she means to say is that here is a wicked strapping strappy little number, that some amongst your number can buy and wear and be strapped up and strapped in and whatever else it is you can do with a strap… She will let your imaginations run riot with that one and join you in the gutter when you inevitably end up at strap on… And there it is Ladies and Gentlemen: the joy of having your own website and owning your own company - being able to use the words ‘f*cked’ and ‘strap on’ in a product description.

Thank you, Goodnight. Buy the top though, it’s great.

DETAILS

• Two strap, elastic at the back of the waist, peplum top

• Material:

  Vintage, Spanish, cotton, embroidered tablecloth, hand-dyed, lace, linen tablecloth and cotton-blend, deadstock broderie anglaise trim (any marks are a sign of its preloved life as a vintage textile, they should be at a minimum but please accept them as marks of history and character, much like Potter’s scar, connecting you to a bygone era / Voldermort’s unhinged mind…)

• Size shown is a size medium, UK10/12 (Model is a uk 8)

  Measurements:

  Chest piece: horizontal - 14.5 inches; vertical - 8.5 inches

  Strap length: 20 inches

  Frill length: 10 to 19 inches

  Full length (front, top of chest to hem): 19 to 28 inches

  Waist circumference: 32 inches stretching to 40 inches

• 5% of profits go to Maggie’s Centre charity.

• Boobs will be embroidered wherever I see fit…

  CARE

• Wash no higher than 30 degrees and iron, or better yet don’t wash at all and save the planet by living like a street urchin.

  PRODUCTION & SHIPPING

• Shipping: 2-4 working days, Royal Mail 1st or 2nd Class

• Handmade by me in London.